Preparing for the Storm
It is no secret that we are in an especially tumultuous time for trans people. Here's the thing. I made an agreement with myself about my content back in 2020 when I started my business. I decided that I would not create content that was inherently activating to the nervous system, to the best of my ability. This generally means not discussing the current headlines, it means not discussing specific incidents of violence toward trans people, it means carefully managing my marketing to avoid "you will NEVER get another chance for this offering" type messaging and it really means not displaying or discussing the hate and transphobia I receive. This is a guiding light for me.
And also, I have been feeling very strongly that as challenging as things have been, the run-up to the 2024 election is going to bring the anti-trans hate machine to a fever pitch. (Note: that link is to the TransLash "Anti Trans Hate Machine" webpage. It may be very activating to your nervous system, so practice mindful care when/if you click it). At first blush, it may seem that the need to address this issue and the need to care for the nervous systems of my audience are at odds, but I don't think so. That's because I believe that we survive this through hope, love, community, and strategy. And those are things that bolster resilience.
I made a previous post all about protecting and preserving trans hope, and this post is very much in that same vein. It's easy to be frozen in terror if you look even a little bit at the current headlines. It's easy to feel constantly attacked if you're a trans person in the U.S. right now, especially in certain states. And also, there are alternatives. There are ways to move through this, because as I have pointed out before, this is not our first backlash.
I had a strong dose of this medicine on a personal level last year.
Strategic Planning vs. Anxiety
In the beginning of 2022, as I did my year-ahead astrology and whatnot, I had a strong sense that I would face an intense and painful situation during the late part of the summer. As a person with anxiety and C-PTSD, I am extremely familiar with hypervigilance and the, let's call it, anxious approach to the world. What this means in practice is that my orientation toward life has been to plan for every conceivable problem as much as possible. This means that for every plan I have contingency plans, for every contingency plan I have other contingency plans. I can woosh down the well-worn tracks of any worst case scenario in my mind, and plan accordingly.
But this way of approaching life is hell on the old nervous system! I've spent years exhausting myself on what-ifs, and while that has certainly served me in some cases, in many others it has caused all the myriad problems that you might expect. As I've walked my own healing path, I've started to learn alternative approaches. I've learned to be more present, I've learned how to build trust with myself that I can handle what comes up. I've also learned how to hold the knowledge that life happens in cycles, a lesson that my relationship with the tarot has really helped me conceptualize and hold.
So when this knowing arrived that something difficult was coming, I certainly didn't feel great about it. Apprehension and fear were present for me, but I had more peace about this than I could imagine having in the past. As I walked through the following months, there were good days and there were bad days, there were easeful times and there were challenging times. The knowledge that a challenge was coming was not at the forefront of my mind at any given moment, but it came and went. I began feeling into the difference between planning for every bad thing to happen all the time, and mindfully preparing for a difficult time that I knew was coming.
I realized over time that I could build myself up for it. When stories came across my awareness about things like safety and security, I made adjustments to my life. I leaned into a variety of protective practices. I prepared myself and bolstered myself. And when the thing happened…it was awful! But I got through it. The preparations I made were extremely helpful…they meant I didn't have to start from square one. But those preparations also hadn't taken over my life or hijacked my nervous system. And everything that I did meant that I had more strength and resilience in general - broadly applicable, helpful no matter what came next.
Moving Through The Anti-Trans Crisis
I am telling this story because as a community, trans people are in the middle of an unfolding crisis. We do not know when things will calm down and when some other oppressed group will become the GOP's football. But we do know that next year is an election year, and it is reasonable to assume that it will be a very hard year for all of us. So we know a hard time is happening, and that it will be harder before it gets better.
Spinning ourselves out on the news cycle is not the move. Reading about every awful thing going on everywhere will not make us stronger. Instead, I believe that we should focus on smart, clear, and strategic uses of our energy during this crucial time. These are the three things that I think are most central:
Bolstering ourselves, building personal strength and resilience, defining our support networks
Creating community with other trans folks as well as folks who are willing to show up for trans folks
Creating coalitions with other groups that share specific aims with us
Bolstering Ourselves
(I wrote about this point even more extensively in this post!) Transphobia and anti-trans violence are systemic issues, and we can not fully address them through individualistic ideas of self-care. And also, learning how to support, heal, and tend to ourselves is vital and cannot be ignored. Our bodies are holistic systems that require multiple forms and levels of care - knowing which of those forms of care you can offer to yourself, and which you need to receive from loved ones or community spaces, is vital to your overall wellbeing.
Anything you do - literally anything at all - to strengthen and care for yourself during this challenging time is important. Nothing that you do is going to be a silver bullet that solves every problem and makes you feel good all of the time. But it is important to remember that each small thing that you do, consistently or inconsistently, makes a big difference.
Knowing that next year is going to be incredibly challenging, here are some things that I recommend.
If you aren't already limiting your news intake, this is the time to start. There are many ways to approach this, and you will have to decide which of these approaches works best for you. Some folks prefer to unsubscribe from all news sources and to avoid headlines as much as possible. This can be helpful in many ways. It gives you the most control over what news you get, because you can always google something if you're curious, but you don't get a super activating list of headlines every morning. Unless you're truly off the grid, I am sure you will hear about all of the major news, and you can choose a few particular news sources to go to when you want to know more.
You can also do your best to limit your news sources to the most relevant options. For example, most of my news comes from LA Times, and specifically, from strategically subscribing to their newsletters. I stick with things that are directly relevant to my local area, since that informs how I vote and impacts my life in a specific way. If you live in an area where trans people are under attack, you may choose to forego local news sources entirely. In this case, you could always ask a friend to let you know if there's anything you specifically NEED to know, but otherwise steer clear of triggering or traumatic news.
Regardless, I also recommend only looking at news sources and sites at planned, specific intervals unless there is an emergency situation that directly effects you, or that you can have some sort of positive impact on. Check your news at a specific time in the morning, then not again for the rest of the day. Or maybe only on Saturday afternoon. Whatever works for your life, but know that constant exposure is terrible for your mental health and your physical well being.
If there are specific issues that you are anxious or nervous about, look for folks who are making positive impacts in that area. Because I promise you, those folks are there. And you can join them, support them, or even just know that they are there and be inspired by them. For example - instead of marinating in your climate anxiety, you can check out the Climate Resilience Project. I heard about this from the AORTA newsletter which is unfailingly a source of incredible things to read and people to connect with. The "Heart Space" at the end of the newsletter is like a treasure trove of actionable hope. I can't recommend them highly enough. And on this same note, I've recommended it before and I will recommend it again! Autumn Brown's webinar, "A Breath Away From Freedom," which changed me on a cellular level. Buy it, watch it, feel it in your bones.
Wow, this turned into an AORTA love fest which is not surprising. Other things that have been nourishing and bolstering my spirit:
adrienne maree brown's "Fables and Spells" book (affiliate link) and her current season of "How To Survive The End of the World" which is focused on witches (broadly construed) and of which each and every episode is so full of life and magic that I feel renewed on a cellular level from listening.
My own spiritual practice. There's no neat link for this bullet point, nor would there be, because my spirituality is very much my own/not part of any organized system. But if you are not a spiritual person, or if your spiritual practice is not nurturing to you, I deeply encourage you to consider connecting in some way with nature, whether that is a house plant, some weeds in the sidewalk, or a park nearby your house. And/or connecting with your own creativity, and/or if it feels safe, with your body. These are life-giving practices.
Breathwork. I am currently learning to facilitate breathwork from Chauna Bryant and will be doing a lot more of that in 2024! Folks on my mailing list will get first access to my offerings.
Plant medicines. Ms. Tea Botanica is a wonderful source for trans-made herbal remedies that are ethical and sustainable. I am also enjoying working with medicine made by the incredible Ylva Mara Radziszewski (@bimboyaga) and a phenomenal hawthorn tincture from Aofie at @aoifededanann.
Stretching, every day when I can.
Walking, every day when I can.
Journaling, every day when I can.
Is there a practice that you can start to implement today? Something small, something that feels simple, easy, straightforward? Something that brings even a little more ease into your day? I encourage you to start there. And if/when it feels like you're ready, you can add in another small thing. Those "small" and "simple" actions add up, and it’s the steady returning to yourself that helps build resilience in your body.
Creating Community with Trans Folks
Stay with me.
Often when I talk about creating community with other trans folks (and gender expansive, and folks willing to meaningfully align with us) the first response I often get from folks is some reason why they can't. Please don't misunderstand. I get that this type of community can be challenging to cultivate. For folks who are in rural areas, there may not be a lot of trans and queer folks around, and those who are around may be stealth for safety reasons. For others, ongoing complications with Covid and the pandemic may preclude gathering in any public way. And then of course, there are all the many challenges that come with trying to build community in a community where nearly all of the members are dealing with some level of trauma, where we are coming together across a plethora of cultural differences (and the power imbalances inherent in a nation built on white supremacy and genocide), where emotions run high and differences abound, where there tends to be a high level of need and a low level of resources.
Not to mention, the ongoing war on trans people in this country.
All of that is enough to make most folks feel some trepidation around community building. And I get that! But incredible things happen when trans people build community. Remember Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR)? Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera created this group, which at times was a home for trans people living on the street and at other times was more of an activist group but was always a source of mutual aid and mutual care. That is one example of many. In fact, the Transgender Archives from University of Victoria have a great exhibition on this topic called "Word of Mouth." The fact is that trans people have survived through times of tremendous struggle and violence by creating community - by carving out spaces of safety for ourselves and one another, and working beneath or counter to the main social power structures in an effort to thrive.
And also! I read recently on IG, and I am sorry to say I don't remember who I read this from, but the idea was that making community doesn't have to be about finding other people, or about specific people with the "right" identity markers. I do deeply believe in the power of queer and trans community, but you can also build community with the earth, with the animals and bugs and plants that live around you, with your neighbors, with your pets. You can build a vibrant and supportive community with the trees in the park nearby (or across town). This stood out to me because increasingly, I am understanding the mycelial web of my relationships as a web, where my non-human relationships are not deprioritized relative to my human relationships. Feeling this deeply in my body has allowed me to open to the possibility of non-human community, and the fact that it can be just as vital as human community.
Another option here would be creating community with transcestors. I am currently collaborating with the amazing Isazela Amanzi on a workshop about this very topic, so I am sure I will write more on it (as always, my newsletter is the best way to be in the know about these things). Anyway, consider this. You have transcestors who have dealt with so many of the things you are dealing with. Transcestors who want to know you, who want to be in dialogue with you. Transcestors who are human, and transcestors who are not. So even if in person, currently-living trans community is not an option for you, you always have this vast web of connection and support that includes all of human history but also extends far beyond it. That's available to you! What a miracle!
But if you can, if you have the willingness and the capacity, I highly recommend building some form of trans community with living trans people, preferably people who live relatively close to you, geographically speaking. This type of community can allow for mutual aid - a community member who needs post surgical care, for example, can have 5 caregivers who are taking turns instead of one. Or can at least have a few people bringing food and soup and keeping them company. This type of community can also create resilience through sharing the burden of the current political situation. There can be times of gathering just for laughter and movement and food and fun, or times of gathering to hold one another through terror and grief.
If you are reading this and feeling the pain of not having a community, I encourage you to start building a container for the community you would like to see. For example, you could start a hiking club, or a crafts night, or a DND game. Whatever it is that you enjoy, that lights you up? I bet you can find another trans person who feels the same. If one other person comes, that's awesome! Now you know a trans person who shares this interest with you. You can build from there.
As we move through the challenge of the next 18 months or so, every single connections is going to count. So start making those connections. Which brings me to…
Creating Coalitions
I owe a debt to Black feminism/womanism for my perspective on coalition building. I didn't really understand the power of this until I learned about it from Black women. Perhaps most impactful to me was the Combahee River Collective Statement (1977), where the Combahee River Collective laid out their politics, recognizing oppression as interlocking systems that must all be resisted and dismantled. If you haven't read this statement before, I highly recommend it.
I can't speak for other groups, but for white people growing up in America, we are so profoundly steeped in toxic individualism. It seeps into us on a cellular level, and working against it is one of many anti-racist modes that must be made a consistent practice. The toxic individualism of U.S. culture seeps into many trans political spaces and it is literally killing us. I have known many trans activists who seemingly took the entire plight of the trans community on their shoulders, fought hard and burned up quick, and died shortly thereafter. In my academic career, I saw this pattern play out again and again with many different trans folks in history as well. So when I say it is killing us, I mean this quite literally.
Building coalition means learning to come together on a shared point of interest despite differences. It does not mean that you have to agree with everything that the people you're building coalition with are doing, saying, or espousing. In fact, sometimes a coalition must be short lived and focused on a specific topic or goal. I do not have the skill set to facilitate this type of movement, but I know folks who do and I can work in support of them. I learned coalition building from Black women and that is who I look to for it. I think Black trans women, and many trans women of color, have built incredible communities and coalitions against tremendous odds.
Miss Major is a great example of this. She has done incredible work, absolutely incredible. And if you read her recent book, Miss Major Speaks (affiliate link), or if you watch her movie or listen to her interviews, etc., you will know that she has worked with and learned from many people. Some of the folks she cites include fellow inmates at Rikers, fellow sex workers and other street workers, fellow trans people. But she also worked within, around, and in spite of non-profits and governments and politicians and other groups that claimed to want to help the community and who had various levels of success doing so.
This type of work can be slow and painful and frustrating. And also, I am struck by a post I recently saw on IG. This post discusses how the author, Maia Kobabe, happened to write the most banned book in America, and some reflections on that experience. The reality of what happened is intense. However, on the 8th and 9th slides, Maia reveals that 60% of the 1000 book challenges that were submitted were submitted by merely 11 people. One single man was responsible for 92 challenges. (Side note: what an ass). They point out that these 11 people's opinions were having an outsized ripple effect on the nation.
This struck me deeply for a number of reasons. One reason was how small that group of people was, and how incredibly unsafe they had made this country for trans people. But another reason, the main reason, was that its not that hard to get a group of 111 people together. And if you did that, if you had 111 showing up in a big way, you would have 10x the support that these book banning campaigns have. And if you could get, lets say, 20 people in every county (and preferably more in big counties like Los Angeles County) and all of those people were writing letters and showing up at political meetings and making comments and using the system FOR us instead of against us?? That may not seem like many people, but the impact would be huge.
I deeply believe that this could change the course of everything, especially if we were to see how all of our work and crucially, all of our liberation is entwined. If we were to really lean hard into how the liberation of Native and Black folks is imperative, how taking care of our earth and doing everything we can to mitigate climate catastrophe is imperative, we would see how the existence and care of trans folks is also necessarily wrapped up in this as well. This is what the Combahee River Collective is talking about. All systems of oppression interlock. All interventions must also move with this awareness, must tackle the problem from every side. And because of this, all of the work matters. All of it.
Conclusion: On building toward trans flourishing
Again, it is vital that you find ways to protect and care for yourself as the 2024 election cycle really gets going. I have no doubt in my mind that the attacks on trans people will continue, and I know that it will likely take years of dedicated action to undo the damage that has already been done. However, you are not alone, and the dedicated actions that must happen are not on your shoulders alone. We can all work together to create something far bigger than any one of ourselves.
All of this is cyclical. We will, as a community, get through it, and though each of us has a responsibility to tend to our bodies and our selves, we also get a unique and beautiful nourishment from moving through this along with other trans people. We can support one another, we can hold one another, we can laugh together and we can cry together. We are a sacred part of this earth and we can treat one another with that care regardless of how society views us. Trans people are magic and we will persist, survive, overcome, and continue changing the world at every level.